I was never a good person, nor did anyone ask me to be one …
I grew up in the underworld of London, in the shadow of all those who had enough money to put a hot meal on the table every day, my parents died when I was only five years old and social services did nothing but send me to orphanages that were possibly even poorer than me. I got used to stealing, looking for whatever job it was, no matter how poorly paid or how degrading they were.
So I survived until I was eight, I had no friends or people to trust, until one day, a lady who seemed like a good family reached out to me on one of the cold winter nights. Her name was Meredith and she had one of the most expensive apartments in the whole city, more spacious than the orphanages to which I had been assigned, it seemed that the entire building belonged only to her and although she had a heart kind enough to pick up someone like me was a business person. She and her husband co-ran a large clothing company and I was fascinated to see them talk about it, they looked so passionate… so happy… So… alive.
Years passed, Meredith and Louis, whom I called Papa and Mama at that time, had taught me to read and write, they believed that before going to any school, I needed to have the basic knowledge that every child my age should have. I spent my days learning and playing, my life became the dream of every living being, we had enough money to never have to worry about him and it was already clear that my education was going to be one of the best that capital could afford. .
My mother always tells the story of that day, the day I changed, I went from being someone outgoing and smiling to having a calculating and distrustful personality, as if I had grown several years in a few hours. And the truth is that it was so …
Have you ever read one of those Japanese novels in which the protagonist travels to another world? I did, and I was fascinated by how they saved people and became heroes whose only reason for life was the safety of their loved ones and justice. I dreamed of being like them, of being a hero, but things are never as beautiful as they seem at first glance. They summoned me, or so they called it, a whole country expected me to be their savior, me, a boy of only 10 years old. They prepared me for war, for nine years I was training, so that the voices that called me for help, would never have to be heard again, so that people would find some happiness in the hell that they had to live.
When I turned 20, they considered me ready, and sent me to the front to carry out the task that had been imposed on me. The result was wonderful, not only did I meet everyone’s expectations, but I exceeded them, and this was not good, they began to fear me, they said that without a war to fight, a monster like me had no place in their world. All the friends I made betrayed me and formed an alliance together with other countries with the sole motive of killing me… They couldn’t.
After all, I looked for a way to return to my home, to that place that I almost forgot, where I was loved and most importantly, where I had a place to exist. While I was preparing everything for the return, I made excuses to explain the reason for my disappearance during all these years, and I even thought about telling them the whole truth and letting them take me for crazy, they had given me everything and I wanted to give them the opportunity to believe me.
My surprise came the same day that I returned and when I looked at myself in the mirror that my closet had, my 10-year-old body looked back at me, they had not spent more than 30 minutes here.
My chest constricted and the urge to cry outweighed the manhood and pride I gained on my journey. It is true that I gained power, but also knowledge, knowledge about betrayal, death, and human selfishness.
You will never know what it is to take a life, unless you do it with your own hands, it does not matter if it is someone you hate, love or do not even know, you will not feel peace, or anger, your body will meet the most horrible nausea and you will probably pass out on the spot. But it’s only that time, with each repetition, that feeling will fade into indifference.
All these experiences put into the body of a child …
I had to save my thoughts and continue living the life that I thought I should have led, or at least I was trying. They considered me a genius even though I knew I wasn’t.
I never used the abilities that I had obtained in that strange world nor did I plan to do so unless the life of someone close was put in danger, it never happened. I graduated from Cambridge University at 16 because I skipped a few high school courses. And it was the same day that I left campus, that a wave of energy, purer than any I had ever felt in my life hit me. It was more powerful than the gods that had carried me when I was a child, no, they would have nothing to do against something like that. The strangest thing of all, is that it did not make me feel fear, but warmth and curiosity.
It was calling me.