Disclaimer: The following blog is a fictional story created based on pic collections available free across the web. The events as depicted in the narrative are 100% made up, and meant to provide tantalizing context to the pictures provided. A picture may say a thousand words, but without a narrative, they don’t give you a story to tell. This blog is an attempt to create that narrative.
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Hey Guys! I’m back, and it’s been an interesting week! I’ve been trying to set up some more interesting encounters using the techniques I observed in other websites, but for the moment, I haven’t gotten any calls back. That’s okay though, I’m hopeful I’ll be knee deep in pussy in no time! That said, my last encounter was a little on the dry side.
She was an okay fuck, but not really at the level I was hoping to score with these kinds of events. Some of you mentioned that if I wasn’t going to fuck hotter women, I shouldn’t bother. You got to understand that reality is never going to match the reality of porn videos. It’d be nice if the women were hot and willing. Don’t think I’m not hoping to nail a hotty as well!
Perhaps that’s always been my issue. I tend to have a low self esteem and have always gone for girls that weren’t that hot. Even with the prostitute, there were hotter girls available, I just didn’t want to pick someone really hot and end up disappointed. I didn’t feel like I had the game to chase hotter tail. However, after another week and a lesson learned, I think you may be more satisfied with my new catch.
This week, I was actually a bit on the poor side and wasn’t looking to spend a whole lot of money. I wasn’t willing to dump a couple hundred to pick up a girl, although I get paid soon and may try out that technique soon. Thus, my thoughts this week were to try the next in the line of easy fucks. Unlike a prostitute, this wasn’t a sure thing, but unlike a prostitute, the ultimate cost was a lot less for my wallet.
This technique is, of course, to go out to a bar and bring home a drunk bar skank. I have to tell you, finding a drunk girl and taking her home with you is not as easy as the stories claim! I mean, I’m an anti-social guy who doesn’t frequent bars, so maybe that’s my problem, but I really have to say that overall, I spent most of my time twiddling my thumb. I tried to buy three girls drinks at the bar, but I ended up getting rejected each time.
Well, rejected isn’t the right word. They took the drink, and gave me a look like the girl was above talking to me. They simply gave the kind of look that says “fuck you”, and “I’m not interested”. So, I took the hint and didn’t press the issue. Suffice it to say, I won’t be wasting money buying girls drinks any more. It actually took three nights before I was finally able to succeed in scoring. Yeah… three. I was never a picky guy to begin with, but I would have taken any girl with a vagina at that point.
The girl I ended up taking home was actually there with her friends. They had been there since before I came and they were quickly becoming, how do we say, a nuisance to the bar? There were three girls in all, and the more alcohol they drank, the noisier they became. It was when one of the girls flashed me and about five other guys at the bar that I began to think I might have a chance here. The best part is there was three of them! Was I ready for a four-some?
Hah… no… no… I’m not. There was no way I was going to approach a table of three drunk women. And so, I kept on twiddling my thumbs thinking I’m going to need to come up with a new technique if I wanted to have sex. I very nearly considered another callgirl, but I knew you guys wouldn’t be happy with that!
In the end, one of the girls ended up throwing up and the other one took her home. Finally, there was only one drunk girl left. She wanted to stay longer, I guess, because she didn’t go with the other two. I eventually found out it was because she brought her own car, and had it in her mind that if she just stayed another hour she’d be sober enough to drive home. After finding out this nifty little detail, I offered to drive the girl home myself. Naturally, I abandoned my car and took hers. It only took about thirty minutes from starting to talk to her until she stumbled to the car with me along for the ride.
She still went for the driver’s seat. It was only then I remembered I was supposed to be taking pictures of this whole thing.
She looks sober enough to consent, uh… right guys?
I don’t think she knew she was flashing me her panties, but it didn’t really matter because I had already planned on having her. Thus, I got her into the passenger’s seat and finally headed towards the address she gave me. I’d like to say there was foreplay involved, but she was half sleeping the entire way home. I figured if I took her to her place, then it’d be a little more legitimate. She might have been drunk, but I didn’t want to be getting arrested come the morning, so I made sure she consented clearly.
When we finally reached her house, a little apartment on the second floor, her clothing came off in an instant. Apparently, this wasn’t her first Rodeo. I thought I’d need to tease and edge her into it, but I guess I didn’t have to. Without any egging at all, she started stripping off her clothing. By the time she said “drive me home”, she had intended for the pair of us to have sex. Soon, I had her shirt off and she was on her knees sucking me off.
In between bouts of sleeping?
I never had a drunk blowjob before, so I really didn’t know what to expect. Since she’s inebriated, the result was that she didn’t really pay attention to any kind of etiquette. She was quite drooly, and didn’t really care about the slobber. She was very wet and dirty, and to be honest, I really liked it. If you ever want a good blowjob, get a girl drunk. Drunk girls are way more into it than sober girls. Sober girls worry about taste and teeth and their personal lives. Drunk girls just go at it like their trying to inhale your dick.
Well, make sure they’re not too drunk. After slobbering on my dick for a while, she decided to deepthroat it. Ah… that felt so good. Her apartment was a little chilly and the feel of those warm lips wrapped around my cock were great. It hit the back of her throat, and I started going nuts. I grabbed her hair, and soon I was thrusting into her mouth.
What inhaling a dick looks like.
I was seriously about to lose it right there, cumming down her throat. However, just when I really started getting into it, she pulls back. She pushed my hands off and stands up so quickly that I thought I had done something to offend her. She gives this disgusted look, drool running down her chin. I was about to apologize for whatever I did to offend her. Then she spoke.
“Just a sec.”
Suddenly, she ran to the bathroom while holding her mouth. I frowned as my wonderful BJ was suddenly interrupted for seemingly no reason. You could say I was a bit disappointed. I ended up listening at the door to hear her heaving up. I guess the taste of my cock didn’t mesh well with the half a dozen shots of vodka she had taken previously. Now she was sicking up in a toilet and I was left with a half boner.
I gave her privacy, but when five minutes turned into ten minutes, I was starting to wonder what the hold up was. I was really terrified she’d come out and say I needed to leave. At this point, I was really revving to go, so getting rejected would have been the worst.
I had heard water running earlier, and my impression was that she was washing herself up after throwing up. I was really hoping she cleaned her teeth and planned to come out and get back where we left off. Did I really need her to brush her teeth just to suck my cock some more? Who cares? I just wanted to fuck! Eventually, having enough waiting, I tried the knob. Remarkably, she hadn’t even locked the bathroom door. I guess when you live alone you can do things like that. So, I push into her bathroom, and then I left and came back with my camera, because what I saw was hilarious.
She decided to take a nap in the tub, isn’t this how most murder stories go?
At this point, I’m slightly annoyed and I ask her what the hell she’s doing. She tells me that she’ll be alright in a second and that the bathwater just soothes her sore tummy. At this point, I think she was getting that I was a little annoyed of her shit. She started shooting me partially drunk, seductive looks. She finally rolled over in the tub and then she started playing with herself. I was a little annoyed, but watching her finger herself in the tub quickly override most of my annoyance.
I wish every argument I had with a woman ended this way.
So, my dick was raging hard and I was down to fuck. She was also eying my dick getting pretty excited on her own. However, her tub was tiny and there wasn’t a chance in hell I could jump in there with her. I still had trauma from trying to fuck in a car, and I knew I’d hurt something trying to bang her in the water. Thus, I informed her I’ll be on her bed.
Fortunately, she was awake enough to get the memo. She managed to get out o her bath, dry herself, and stumble to the bedroom. I watched her thinking she was going to pull some sexy moves or something, but instead, she just flopped on the bed and stuck her ass in the air. She didn’t say anything, she didn’t do anything else, she just collapsed in the bed with her ass up. Naturally, there was only one option.
If life gives you ass, you stick your dick in it.
I slid my dick inside her pussy, and it felt really great. She was actually pretty wet, and my dick went in smoothly. At that point, and after three days of built up stress, I banged her hard. Unlike that prostitute, she moaned and had a great time. The best part was that I was bareback. Yeah, completely forgot to wear a condom. I grabbed her round ass, and It felt great, and my cock was slapping her enough that we were making some pretty lewd noises.
Her skin was really soft and smooth, and that ass… I can’t tell you how great it was. With the flash, you can see some stretch marks on that booty, but in the dark it was nearly perfect guys. I stuck a finger in her ass even and she was all for it. I didn’t have the guts to fuck her in the butt, but damn was I tempted. I was really worked up though, and I was quickly going crazy realizing my dick was inside the Adonis who was moaning under me. Her moans were really soft and cute. They were also muffled on account of her head being in the bed. This was just great!
I finally rolled her over, and I did it really forcefully. She’s actually a lot lighter than the woman I’m used to, so as soon as I pushed her butt over she went flying. She let out a cry and then started giggling as I pulled up to me. Light girls are truly awesome, because you can just toss them around and they can take it. Like, that prostitute last time was a brick, without her concerted effort, not much could be done, but I could bang this bitch all over the bed in any position we wanted.
Finally, I had her legs in my hands and I was just pounding into her. She must have seen it in my face that I was about to loose my nut, because she chose that moment to ask the dreaded condom.
However, all great things come to an end, and my great thing ended when she suddenly said, “Do you have a condom?”
A little late to decide on birth control options.
Oops…I guess she did care if I wore a condom. Well, I was already balls deep inside her and now she wants to talk about protection? This is one of those pet peeves of mine. Like, don’t be discussing this stuff after we’re fucking. It’s such a damn tease!
Of course, I didn’t have the guts to say that. I was balls deep inside her, and I was planning to take It the rest of the way. I started moving faster and faster without responded. I was kind of hoping for one of those accidental creampies. You know, the ones where they’re like “I can’t believe you just cummed in me!” Bullshit. I mean, I know I don’t have an STD, and at this point I’ve been exposed to her as much as a man can be. So, to me, cumming in her is just fine. As far as babies, if she’s going to bars she probably should be on a pill or something. She can get the day after pill.
Well, once again, my face must have told her something, because she suddenly got up and pulled me out, pushing me back on the bed. I was scared for a moment she was just going to end things, but she went down on me instead. My dick was still wet with her pussy juice, so I was pretty impressed she put it in her mouth again.
As long as she doesn’t throw up again.
At that point, I couldn’t last much longer. I ended up exploding inside her mouth as she sucked on it hard. She kept sucking the entire time I came, and she swallowed every last drop. To me, it’s a little painful when they keep going after you cum, but she was pretty good at it to the point she sucked just long enough to finish me off.
As to her personal satisfaction, I think she had already finished herself in the bathtub before, so all of this was just to satisfy me. After I came and she swallowed it all down like a pro, she wiped her mouth clean. Maybe she was starting to sober up, because I started getting the feeling she was done with me now.
I started kissing her and perhaps trying to go for another round. However, she started looking for her phone and then she just crashed on the couch. I seriously considered joining her. She was okay with me fondling any part of her I wanted, but she didn’t act like she was into it at all.
Can’t blame me for fondling that.
I finally gave up and left her apartment and she didn’t say anything as I left. Well, I got what I wanted and she got what she wanted. What she wanted was someone to drive her car home, and what I wanted was sex. I guess that’s the law of equivalent exchange? She was hot enough I’d consider her outside my usual zone, and I still can’t believe I banged her. I guess that’s the beauty of alcohol.
Anyway, I ended up taking an Uber back to the bar and talking my car home. I never did get her number. I wonder how’d she react if I stopped by her place while she was sober. Well, I didn’t want to reinact a scene from Knocked Up, so let’s just leave it behind us. I’m going to move on to future conquests!
Technique: Drunk Girl At the Bar
Easy: 3/10
Cost: $18 in drinks, $10 Uber, About as expected.
Success: Yes
Female Beauty: 7/10
Quality of Sex: 8/10
Extras (Anal, BJ, etc…): Yes, BJ
Overall Thoughts: I’m not a fan of leaving things up to luck. Although when the right circumstances occur, getting laid required very little work, finding those right circumstances is pure chance. You need a lot of time and patience in order to catch bar skanks. It’s not something you can force. It also has many various advantages. It was cheap, the quality of girl was high… Then again, it had some setbacks, she was unpredictable and half-asleep. Overall, I can see why guys pick up women at the bars, but I’m still looking for techniques with a greater success rate.