Life will always go on.

Even for someone as worthless as me.

No matter what mood or state I’m in, whether that’s happy, sad, or depressed, life will take its course, neither stopping nor speeding.

The black hole in my heart is patched up, sure, thanks to Aaron preaching about Goddess Maria a few weeks ago, but the bandage is slowly deteriorating.

I guess no matter what I do, my heart will always be broken with a gaping hole.

And that’s fine.

The dragon never bothered me about my emotional instability after that one time. This proves my theory of how our soul bond only detects fluctuations. So if my heart constantly stays depressed without change, positive or negative, it’ll be fine.

That reminds me, the dragon has discovered the mundane leisure of basking in the warmth of the sunlight in the beautiful courtyard of the sky palace. Honestly, I’m surprised it was able to come out of that purple room without damaging the palace.

It’s time I head back to the dorm, teleport to the sky palace, and then study for the《School of Wits Magic》exam, as it’s coming quite soon.

At least that’s the plan if nothing unusual happens.

「 H-hi sweetie! 」

By the time I return to the dorm, mother is sitting down in the couch lounge, still wearing that classic blue gown and black pillbox hat that define her. Unlike last time, however, she seems to be nervous. Though smiling broadly, unrest emanates from her posture, and the cheerful and needy aura that was once the very thing that makes her … her … is missing.

Judging from the empty cup with no tea left in front of her, she might have waited for me for quite a long time.

「 Hello, mother. 」I say as I ponder the reason for her presence…

「 H-how was class…? If I recall, exams should take place soon. Are you faring well? 」

「 Of course. Did I make you wait, mother? 」

「 No… no… I just got here, 」mother says, shaking her head,「 can I come inside your room? It’s a bit chilly here. 」

Even though there’s a lit fireplace in the lounge? Whatever, I can’t exactly oppose my mother.

「 Sure, let’s go mother. 」I say as I offer my hand to her.

Rather than simply holding my hand, she hugs my arm. Her face snugs closely as she rubs it on my shoulder. Too close. I don’t remember her being like this before.

It’s a miracle how we are able to climb the stairs and reach my room without any difficulties.

「 Oh wow… your room is so tidy sweetie, I never knew there will be a time you made your bed. 」

Dear goddess… she sure needs to rub in changes at every opportunity.

「 Ahh.. 」she closes her mouth, 「 I’m sorry, sweetie. 」

She immediately sits at the edge of the bed, patting the sheets next to her, and stares at me with watery eyes. It’s such an unexpected turn of events that it froze me for a bit. I try to comfort her, by sitting beside her closely.

「 I’m… I’m so sorry for what I did, Renald. 」

「 Wh-what? You don’t have anything to apologize mother. 」

「 You’ve grown up to a full-fledged adult, yet I keep treating and pestering you as if you’re still my little boy. 」

I don’t know what to make of all this…

「 No buts. 」She continues, 「 because of my actions, you feel awkward and uncomfortable with me. I should’ve noticed back then in your past birthday celebration. 」

「 What are you talking about, mother? 」I intervene,「 if it’s because of my urgency to leave my birthday, it was because I have to meet with a professor, remember? 」

「 Then, why are you not replying to my letters, and why didn’t you tell me that you’re going to Reinhardt’s territory during the vacation? 」

How did she know…?

Silence weighs on me, as I don’t know what to say…

「 If there’s one thing that stays consistent about you it’s that you always seem to hide your true feelings. Back when you were still my baby boy, to the adult you right now. 」She says, breaking the silence, letting out a small smile,「 it is first and foremost my fault sweetie, for being insensitive towards you. 」

This is… to mildly put it, quite unexpected. Her apology is so deeply felt and seems serious enough that I feel guilty.

「 I think it’s time you know your mother’s past, Renald. 」She says, her gaze lowers as her eyes darken.

Now that I think about it, I don’t really know much about her. All I know is that she’s a cheerful mother who always compares me to the past Renald Alderhide. A beautiful woman both inside and out. Although she can be very overprotective at times, in the end, she is this way because she actually cares about her son’s entire being.

For the love that I’ve always wanted to be this close — yet unreachable, at the same time.

「 Your mother’s maiden name is Heva Avia, from the great… Baron Br… Braxton Avia… 」

She stops speaking suddenly, her breath shakes and becomes shallow.

「 Mother…? 」I ask, not sure why she’s behaving like this.

「 I’m… I’m sorry sweetie, your mother recalls some dark memories when mentioning his name… My father’s name. 」

That means… My grandfather?

「 I was the only daughter in the small Baron Avia family 」, she continues, her breath still shaking, but better now, 「 and Braxton Avia… he’s a brutish man, obsessed with his role in the military, so he loves and cherishes his sons while ignoring and detesting his daughter… 」

H-how could he! To her?!

「 C-calm down Renald… your face is scary right now… It’s just the past… I’m fine now… 」

Shit… Without realizing it my facial expression must’ve turned for the worse… I mean I can’t help it… To think this angelic mother was treated cruelly…

「 When your mother was in the middle of studying in the academy, he, among a few older brothers, was killed in the great Concordis war. And with the Avia family left to survive alone with its treasury greatly diminished, I was immediately engaged to Falben Alderhide, sending me off to the Alderhide family. Your father… he used to be a better person, he truly loves me, until this day I’m sure… But when you were born, things changed… I’m guessing they are worried since I gave birth to a boy.  」

「 T-then why don’t you discard me, mother…? 」I ask, I mean isn’t it the obvious choice?

「 How could you say that?! 」she shouts, right at my ear, with a wronged undertone, 「  I know how it feels to be unloved and ignored. I won’t let my only son feel the same way as I did in the past!  」

Her loud shout forces me to reply with another silence…

Everything is just… Unexpected…

「 W-which leads me to how… recently I… I accidentally heard the news that your father wants to kick you out from the family for good by the time you graduate… Even though you deserve so much better… 」

With the way I rarely interact with him and how he treats me, giving me all sorts of disadvantages, it is to no surprise that he does so if his intention since the beginning is to get rid of me.

I’ve already known this since ages ago, but it seems she only realized it recently.

「 I’m sorry… Renald.. 」Her watery eyes now swell even more, as a single tear rolls down her cheek, 「  if your mother actually tried hard enough, to earn a decent position in the family… Maybe y-you wouldn’t be in this miserable disadvantageous position. 」

She leans towards me, her arms wide open. I open my arms as I hug her, falling into my mother’s embrace. She continues to sob into my shoulder, wet with her tears.

「 Because of your mother’s… selfishness… and obliviousness… You ended up in such a predicament… 」

Seeing this woman who was once always cheerful, with a generous smile and positive outlook towards life, to be reduced to this pitiful, crying state, something snaps within me.

I don’t want to see her like this. She might have a part in making me the way I am, but that doesn’t mean she deserves to be in this state.

As I wrack my brain trying to find relief for her, amidst the sobs and whining, it reminds me of the one thing I achieved and quite proud of in my miserable past life — making my father proud.

I remember him crying happily as I received my graduate degree in a stadium near Tokyo University. He’s never seen before smile as I was able to support him, and lift him out of poverty.

How he doesn’t longer need to live in a run-down, small apartment, without a working heater or clean water. How I could treat him to eat the large unagi-don my father always secretly craved for, but wasn’t able to afford due to his meager salary.

…Maybe Aaron is right.

I never had a mother, and she might never replace my real deceased mother. But it is my responsibility as Renald Alderhide to ease her — my new mother’s — worries and make her proud that she gave birth to an incredible son.

Even if her love is towards her past son, at the very least I should never give her a reason to cry again.

That’s right, I’m Renald Alderhide. Yoshinobu Ryo was the past. And I’m no longer my past self.

「 Don’t worry… My mother… Your little boy will manage somehow. You’ve done nothing wrong. I forgive you… my mother. 」

I hug her tighter. The warm sensation makes it to my heart.

 「 Aaron, honestly, what’s up with these damn boxes… Can’t you just rent a cart or something? 」

「 It can’t be helped, Alderhide-sama. 」Aaron replies, putting up a defeated smile,  「 This is why I was very reluctant in letting you help me. It’s fine if you change your mind, we’re halfway to the orphanage anyway. 」

「 And leave you alone with these boxes? 」I frown, 「 it would leave a bad taste for me to do things half-assed. 」

「 Well, if you still insist… I appreciate it. 」

The sky is no longer bright blue, but a rather honeyed dew; the serenity of eventide. A rather spectacular view, as it complements the vibrant rows of white buildings the city Hasten has to offer. As it soon reaches nighttime, manaritium street lamps start radiating their distinctive white light.

The streets even with the sun soon setting down are still littered with all sorts of people, adding more vibrant colors.

Time feels rather quite slow but that must’ve been because of this heavy box.

But somehow in this small trip, a change of scenery is done in an instant. Gone are the pristine white buildings, replaced with worn brown facades.

「 Ahh… This is another reason why… As you can see it’s not a really pleasant thing to witness. 」

Dirt roads with muddy puddles take over the meticulously tiled streets and the lamps become scarcer. A rather nasty smell lingers around this place. It’s very unpleasant and I’m not sure where it comes from, or whether I even really want to know.

Other small shelters are also made of thin wood boards and shabby rooftops.

The residents of this area are surprisingly slim, looking fragile, due to starvation most likely. Their eyes are pure dark with no life in them. Other than me and Aaron, very few can be spotted walking in these places, maybe because it’s nightfall, but even around this time there would still be some people passing by in the center of Hasten city.

Just from these alone, I don’t need anyone to tell me what kind of place we are in right now.

So this is the slums huh… No wonder we walked for quite a long time. This is at the very outskirts of the city.

To think this kind of environment is within a considerable distance to the prosperous and luxurious parts of Hasten city. I want to feel pity for them, for living in this broken, dying place. But why do they have to place it near Hasten city?

Aaron in front of me, leading the way, seemingly quite tense, with how stiff his movements are. Is it because of the eerie, poor environment?

Two people approach us from an alley wearing black and rugged hooded robes. Their face is well hidden. Probably a bunch of hoodlums. They most likely won’t bother to deal with us. We are just carrying plain old boxes with no valuables on us.

As soon as we reach a considerable distance, one of them walks faster than his partner towards us. Strange. His hands tucked in his pockets.

Something’s weird. My hand reaches immediately towards my waist. Fuck, I didn’t bring a weapon.

That hoodlum then dashes towards Aaron who’s further ahead, knocking his box down and instantly going for it. Aaron pushes the hoodlum with considerable strength as he rebounds a few steps back.

They are clearly aggressive towards us. No need to hold back then.

The hoodlum pulls up a knife. Too late. I already prepared a spell for this fucker.

『 Igni 』

The deadly blue blossom sprouts from my hands. Engulfed by it, the target dances like a joyous specter, draining its life to give me this beautiful display.

No time to think. I go to the ashes and pick up the knife to fight the other hoodlum.

「 M-m-mercy! 」

The other hoodlum begs mercy as always. But you never know when they will retaliate back. I plunge the knife immediately towards his abdomen.

「 Alderhide-sama! 」

「 …m-m-ma..maa…. 」

He lets out his dying breath. Well, that was quick. But better than holding us up for long.

「 Alderhide-sama! How could you?! 」

He shouts again as he places his hand on my shoulder.

Aaron looks around. I follow his gaze and look at our surroundings. The people watching us are shivering and hiding to anything they could use to cover them, although their faces and widened eyes are visible.

Why are they so scared? It’s like they saw creepy and humongous hairy spiders like that one time in my adventure quest with Elras. It still sends shivers to my spine to this day.

Some of them retreat deeper into the shadows of entrances and paths. Their faces filled with fear and disgust. The stench of the burnt flesh is rather unappetizing so their reaction is reasonable.

「 We’ll have a talk later. Not in here. Let’s go. 」Aaron quickly says, in an unusually serious manner.

He picks up the pace quicker than before, forcing me to sprint a bit just to catch up, ignoring the stares of the passerby still remaining.

Shortly after, we arrive at the orphanage, a small one that could house at most ten people.

「 Aaron! There you are! What took you so long? Thank the Goddess you are safe. 」A girl decked in a full nun outfit asks Aaron.

「 I’m sorry for making you wait. 」

Aaron places the box he’s carrying on a nearby huge table, I quickly follow suit. He soon opens them. Inside the box is packed heavily with what seems to be brand new toys and dolls alike.

「 The Goddess Maria has blessed us! This is wonderful! I’m sure the kids will love it! They are currently in the dorm room, sleeping, so they won’t immediately get this. But I’ll distribute them tomorrow morning. 」

She takes a deeper peek inside the boxes, counting the amount of the toys inside. Once she lifts her head, she takes notice of me.

「 Oh my, and who is he? 」

「 He’s a friend of mine from the academy, Renald Alderhide, 」Aaron soon replies,「 is the small church next to the orphanage available to be used? I would like to talk privately with him for a moment. 」

「 Ahh… I think it’s fine. Wait for a second, 」the nun reaches into her pocket,「 here are the keys. 」

「 Thank you, it won’t take long. 」

The church Aaron was talking about is actually right beside the orphanage, so we walk there quickly.

I’m starting to feel like I’m a small kid who is soon going to be lectured by his parents. But I’ve never experienced that so I might be wrong.

The moonlight courses through the inside of the dimly lit church from the window sides, creating a rather gloomy yet serene atmosphere. Its interior is overly simple and bland with a stone altar and rows of benches. Definitely a far cry from the churches I’m used to,  with their beautiful paintings and colored window panels, exhibiting a holy and majestic atmosphere.

Well, they did mention it is just a small church, and considering the shitty environment surrounding it, this is actually wonderful in comparison.

「 Do you know why we are here, Alderhide-sama? 」Aaron says as he takes a seat in the front.

Wait, what was the reason again?

「 Because you want to pray…? 」I reply as I take a seat beside him.

「 Well, yes, but not entirely correct. I hope you can also join me in praying to Goddess Maria, for forgiveness. 」

Determination flashes in his eyes and subtlety look quite scary.

「 O-okay.. 」I say, not feeling like fighting back. Even though I’m not a firm believer in the Goddess Maria.

He starts with ushering low whispers, filling the church’s solemn atmosphere with a hint of calm and focus, preparing for whatever mantras he wants me to echo.

「 Repeat after me. Dear Goddess Maria, who art in heaven. 」Aaron solemnly prays, his hands grouped together.

「 Dear Goddess Maria, who art in heaven. 」I say, following his lead.

「 Please bestow us your heavenly grace. 」

「 Please bestow us your heavenly grace. 」

「 For I have greatly sinned. For I am but a little human. 」

「 For I have greatly sinned. For I am but a little human. 」

「 In your love, forgive me and give me a change of heart. Amen. 」

「 In your love, forgive me and give me a change of heart. Amen. 」

A bright-line shines underneath us as we finished our prayers, flickers of yellow lights surround us, a classic effect of the《School of Miracle & Blessing Magic》

「 How does it feel? Is your heart at peace now? 」Aaron asks, his face full of tranquility.

The black hole is still there but it’s now patched up with a soothing yet small bandage, now filling me with a soothing calmness — but not fully for it is still there.

「 I take your silence as a yes, 」Aaron continues,「 do you know what grave sin you have committed? 」

「 Yeah… 」I answer, still not feeling any weight or guilt from what I did but I do know it is wrong,「 I guess you’re right. 」

「 I was furious at you back then. Burning them alive and slaughtering them was excessive and unnecessary. Killing and especially causing suffering is a huge sin. I want to scold you but as soon as I looked at your face, however, I noticed something. A deep dark hatred of oneself. 」

Feels like everybody is slowly but surely starting to get past the facade that I’ve put up.

「 It would be much better if you confess your sin later with an official priest. 」Aaron continues,「 But for now this will do. 」

「 Okay… But why are you doing all of this? 」

「 You seem lost. Reinhardt-sama also mentioned something along those lines before. Now seeing directly from you, I’ve come to believe what he said. 」

「 Damn… So he told you about that, huh… 」

Will he spill the beans if I mention my adsignatos or dragon summoning ability too?

「 Don’t worry, I’m sure he does so with good intention, 」he says, his hand on my shoulder.「 Compared to Reinhardt-sama, you and I interact quite rarely, but that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to extend a helping hand. 」

「 And what is this helping hand? How are you going to help me? 」

「 The most merciful, Goddess Maria, will be the one to help you. My role is to merely guide your path towards her benevolence. 」

Is he going to preach about Goddess Maria?

「 Born a noble with a few servants and a pile of gold in my name, I have been boundlessly arrogant. But even to this wretched sinner did the Goddess Maria extend her graceful hand. And after taking it, I will use this life to repay her by guiding others to her light. 」

「 And so, after repenting you want to become a priest to get closer to the Goddess Maria out of guilt too?  」

「 It’s much more than that. Alderhide-sama, 」he replies, 「 Living a hedonistic life is fantastic I have to admit, but when your pleasure is gone, it lacks meaning in everything. And so hidden deep beneath my arrogance is a dire need to find a purpose. Serving and worshiping the Goddess Maria in return gives me peace of mind and fulfilling life. All of my worries and anxiety are gone.  」

「 Hmm… I see… 」I say as I ponder over his words.「 Then, do you become a priest solely because you feel that you are supposed to? 」

「 No, 」he says, letting out a small smile, 「 it is because I love Goddess Maria.  」

His eyes make their way towards the altar of the church, I follow his gaze. Past the altar is a small sculpture as white as the clouds. A healthy woman with a warm smile holding a white wooden staff, with an enneagram star emblem on the tip — Goddess Maria.

A look of deep reverence and servitude comes from him. I never knew a person can be in such a deeply tranquil state just from devoting oneself to a high deity.

「 I must say… I didn’t expect that answer. 」I say out of bewilderment.

「 It takes true devotion. But you can start with small steps. How about helping others? There’s joy and a sense of fulfillment when you bring them joy. What did you feel when you… how should I say this… end that person’s life back then? 」

「 I.. hmm… 」I say, not sure what to answer,「 it feels… empty… nothing. 」

「 It’s an uncomfortable feeling, judging from your expression, Alderhide-sama. Instead of being selfish, how about being selfless? By serving and helping others, your parents, or friends, you will gain joy by making them happy.  」

Helping others huh… I did that and it didn’t give me happiness. Is it because I’m too selfish? Too much of a sick person to be saved or helped?

「 And I can also help you to follow our Goddess Maria. 」Aaron continues,「 visit the Saint Boxora Cathedral every other day. Other priests and I will guide you in-depth in how to become closer to the Goddess Maria. 」

Well, this is starting to remind me of my past life experience in the US, where many Americans tried to persuade me to convert to their religion.

「 Ah… I see… I’m sorry to break it up to you, but it’s already quite late actually. 」I respond immediately, trying to stir away from this topic before it becomes too unsavory,「 we should go back to our dorm. 」

「 There’s still a lot that I want to share with you, but I agree, let’s head back. The Goddess Maria preaches that the night is full of temptations of bad deeds. 」

 

---

『 To Serve And Worship God… Hooooo…. Interesting. 』

---

The ray of bright sunshine creates a spectacular view on the campus filled with its classic artistic white buildings. A common sight once before, to the point of being bothersome and plainly boring. But now, it’s a pleasing and welcome return. As it indicates what once used to be normal every day.

Back to the usual academy life. Away from the unpredictable adventures to the peaceful, more stable life filled with books and learning.

But nothing’s the same anymore. I may have returned back to normal life again, however, things have changed. Before, I entered the academy with great ambitions, with dreams as high as the sky. To overcome the limitations that were imposed by my circumstances and achieve things that I’ve never been able to do in my past life. Now, I feel little of the past euphoria about going to the academy again.

Why bother aiming past the limit when my path is set in stone.

An inevitable doom.

「 It’s great seeing you Reinhardt-sama and Alderhide-sama again. 」Aaron says, cutting me off from my thoughts.

The only great thing about coming back to this way of life is how it keeps me busy and gets my mind away from my foolish past mistakes. With a rather good distraction in the form of decent friends that I surprisingly quite enjoy.

As we walk together to our respective classes…

「 It’s been a while, 」Elras replies,「 How’s Hasten been while we were away? 」

「 Nothing spectacular. As always I volunteered in the Saint Goxara Cathedral. By graduation, I will be at an advanced level and officially become a priest with the blessing of the wise and merciful Goddess Maria. 」Aaron nonchalantly says.

「 Aaron as expected. 」Elras seemingly boasts,「 I knew you’re going to be quite the figure in the church a few years down the line. 」

「 No, no no…. It is thanks to the head priest and the goddess Maria for greatly paying attention to my efforts. Not because of my talent. If you want real talent then it’s definitely Alderhide-sama. I heard he will soon achieve Advanced level when he entered the academy with not a single knowledge of his school of magic.  」

「 That’s nothing special… really…  」I say, trying to deviate from this pointless praise of my so-called “talent”, 「 if it’s that big of a deal it would’ve created a ruckus around the academy. 」

「 Indeed. Most likely because it’s the《School of Wits Magic》, what do you think Aaron? 」

「 Haven’t you heard? The white flower of Veinard, Princess Vivienne Veinard is greatly predicted to achieve a Master’s level in the《School of Aegis Magic》by graduation. The first princess ever in the history of Veinard to obtain the achievement. It becomes quite the topic in the university. 」

Princess Vivienne…

There’s still a striking and deep ache when I think about her.

I know that even thinking about her that way was undeserved for someone like me. But being hated this much hits deep regardless.

Reflecting back again, how come I develop feelings for her?

To think I would magically fall in love with someone just because of their bewitching beauty. I’m no different than the people who only look towards power and status…

 

---

『 Human, I Sense That You Are Greatly Perturbed. Maintain Your Composure, As It Surprisingly Disturbs This Great One’s Mood. 』

---

 

The dragon’s immediate thoughts rip me away from these depressing memories.

Looks like the dragon was able to re-establish our mind linkage…

 

---

Forgive me, this is a matter concerning my old dunce self. I did not know it would bother you.

『 It Matters Not. Though I Am In Wonder At Your Passivity. A Trouble This Depressing Should Be Addressed, Not Pitied. What Could Possibly Not Be Achieved With My Aid? 』

---

 

「 Hello, Renald…? Renald?! 」Elras says, reminding me that I’m still walking with them.

「 Uh… Yes…? 」

「 You seem to be spaced out more and more recently, what’s happening with you? 」

Can I even tell them an almighty ancient dragon is now living in my head? Of course not, they would think I’m insane.

「 Nothing — I was caught up in random thought. It feels like it’s been an eternity since I’ve been here. Oh, I need to go to the military academy building. Bye-bye. 」

「 Take care, Alderhide-sama. 」

「 Make sure to not space out too much alright! 」Elras shouts.

I walk to my respective destination in mind, separating ways from them. To the military academy building.

《School of Wits Magic》huh…

I caught up from far behind to upper average. Quickly, true, but even then, it’s just a school of magic for future lackeys of the truly strong. What pride should I take in that?

Amidst my deprecating thoughts, the usual military academy building comes to view. Although it uses authentic pure white paint on almost the entire building, it is quite distinctive with its square castle-like design. All sorts of Veinard war banners decorate and add flavor to it, showcasing the pride of the kingdom’s military. Or should I say the royal army? As the banners on display are only the army units under the royalty or the dukedom.

It is the same building I went to for [Military Doctrine] class, but now, in this new period another class awaits for me. A class that I chose out of the recommendation of Professor Smush. A class that’s also similar to my past study and profession — the [Warfare Logistics] class.

 

---

『 I Must Say, Humans, Are Quite Peculiar. Your Kind In This New Era Creates Never-Seen Before Magnificent Structures. And I Found It Rather Amusing Even When Dominating The Free Surface, You Still Prefer To Be Confined With These Stone Piles.  』

It’s both about strength and weakness, in a way. Building imposing monuments shows off the group’s power and resources. That, and humans are still as fragile as they were before the calamity.

『 That Reminds Me, Human. Every Single One Of The Dragon Kin Bows Down To This Great One Supremacy. It’s Unfathomable How Come I’ve Never Crossed My Name And Legacy In This New Era. 』

---

 

If there’s one thing that the dragon loves to talk about, it is always regarding the weight and pride of its name — Naga.

Even if it is just a mere legend, the dragon’s supreme legacy would’ve taken a substantial portion inside the dragonic history book, as the proud dragonkin will go to great lengths in researching their mighty ancestors’ history. The time where they conquered the whole earth and sky with their massive genuine dragonic body and inapprehensible mana manipulation. A far cry to the present, where they are a pushed back minority.

It is no surprise their race is stuck in the past, compared to humans who are currently at their peak. So how come I’ve never heard of the name Naga?

From my understanding, back in the Verum Shihi Era, the dragonic society was always a constant battle or warfare with one another, not under one supreme ruler who controls every single dragon. Is the dragon wrong? Or am I witnessing a forgotten entity that will shatter the history book?

 

---

『 Do Not Worry Human. I Do Not Expect Your Kind To Know How Much Weight The Name Naga Carries. Only The Dragon Descendents Will Quiver And Remember The Naga’s Legacy. 』

Alright, alright…  I get it. I’ll read your jaw-dropping tales of reign supremacy later on when I’m free… For the time being, I need to focus on my university and the present moment. I will cut off our mind connection for now.

『 As You Should Be, Human. Farewell. 』

---

 

With the dragon’s farewell, I grasp the complex mind linkage and cut off the dragon’s connection to my mind, and the ability to sense my surroundings. Surprisingly, however, I can sense another link between the dragon and some primitive, emotional parts of my brain, which somehow is impossible to disconnect.

It’s rather strange how out of all the others, I cannot sever the dragon’s ability to detect my emotions or feelings.

And as always, the only thing I can do is just accept this fate of mine that I have little to no ability to change…

I’ve finally come across the room I’m looking for. Inside is the typical classroom that you could find anywhere in the Bosart University. But something is missing….

This room feels rather empty. The class should begin very soon, yet only nine students including me are in this class. Even the《School of Wits Magic》class has around seventeen students…

Some students here are slightly overweight as if they are spoiled noble kids and surprisingly most wear glasses, a rather rare sight to see this many in a single view.

As I come to take a seat, a realization hits me… I’m in the nerds class, aren’t I?

「 Attention! 」

All students stand up tall and high as is expected in the military academy. As soon as the professor comes to standing still in the middle of the class with a single nod, the students drop down to their seats again.

「 Greetings students, for those of you who don’t know me, my name is Aristide Snijder. As all you students were taught in the military academy, I’ll expect you to address me as “Sir Snijder” with respect, even if your nobility rank is higher than mine. Some of you might’ve already taken [Military Doctrine] and that’s fine, as in this class all of you will learn what supports every war effort — [Warfare Logistics].

「 A very underrated subject in academia. As you may know, most people would rather be in the front show, decimating their enemies with grand magic, in the hopes of going back home with honor and rewards. However, a starving and under-equipped army won’t give you those, something that most people forget. And in this class, we will discuss how to avoid those and many other pitfalls, starting with the disastrous event in the Cradsten war….  」

 

…..

 

The new  [Warfare Logistics] class is over and I now start walking back home, in the rare situation of having no plan in mind.

I guess at the moment I need to find out what the dragon ultimately wants to do. It’s a bit ironic how although the dragon comments on my passivity in life, it also remains passive with me right now, only inviting me to use the dragon’s power for whatever it thinks I want. Which are always false.

What I want will never be fulfilled. Especially with force and power…

Lost in thought like so often lately, I barely remember anything about my path to the dorms. And stumbles upon Aaron at the front of the door seems to be quite troubled, carrying two big boxes in his hands and a bag slung on his shoulder.

「 Oh, it’s you, Alderhide-sama. How are the classes? 」Aaron says, trying to smile that fails to hide its burden in carrying them.

「 Same old, same old… How about you? What’s up with the boxes and bags you’re carrying? They seem rather plain. 」

「 Oh, don’t worry too much about it. I just need to carry these to an orphanage just southwest of the city. 」

「 That’s rather far, isn’t it… How about I help you carry them? 」

Feeling a bit of pity towards Aaron, I offer help to him. I mean, it’s just a simple walk with the added heavy loads right?

『 So It Is You Who Has Resurrected This Great One From The Shackles Of Death. 』

The flow of time seems to have stopped between the two of us. Two different beings, different in almost every aspect, somehow encounter one and another. The dragon with its long neck carrying its head on top stares right through me as if it knows everything, where none of my hidden secrets will be left unrevealed, as it slowly judges me from within, and assessing my worth.

Its eyes flicker and there is taunting amusement behind them.

『 Hooo… Interesting. There Is Something Different About You. 』

It must’ve observed something within me. Is it mere wonder? Inferiority? Or maybe the black hole in my heart?

『 The Essence Of Divinity. It Lingers, And Perpetual. Yet You Are Unmistakably A Human. 』

The essence of divinity inside the likes of me? Surely, you jest. Why would an idiot like me have that?

Its sharp gaze never deviates to anywhere other than me, the dense air combined with its sheer size that leaves no empty space, fills the room with its sheer pressure. But I’m indifferent.

『 I Sense That You Are Unafraid. Loosen Even. Have You Seen Dragons Before? 』

Indeed. An ancient dragon at its full glory, with its impenetrable full-scaled reptile-like body, revered and frightened by anyone and right in front of me is right in front of me. Additionally, its mesmerizing, beautiful crown on top of its head must’ve meant a great deal as a status symbol.

A legendary almighty dragon. God amongst dragons, as what it said before. But how come I’ve never heard of the name Naga before?

Nevertheless, it does bring the question of how come I can always stay calm in front of a supreme being.

「 In a sense, yes. 」I answer as I look upward to the dragon with its head held high.

『 None Of My Fellow Dragons Ever Dares To Face Directly At Me. Even More So Of An Insignificant Being Such As Human. 』

 「 Are you by chance the same blood as the Raiyuu Race? 」I immediately ask, thirsting to quench my curiosity of this ancient dragon’s origin.

『 You Sure Are Brave, Human. To Compare This Great One To An Inferior Dragon Race That Of The Raiyuu. Countless Of Their Kin Lost Their Worthless Lives Challenging My Supremacy. Or Any Other Dragon Race That Foolishly Dares To Face Against Me! 』

Those last few words literally spat out from its mouth, causing small earthquakes throughout the room. After gaining a bit more composure the dragon snorts. Twin column of steam emits from its nostril.

The dragon has a way about them, might and grace. Even in the state of blazing fury, where it leaks out for all to see, its stoic posture is still maintained, causing its rage to be withdrawn soon afterward. A calm composure with lurking vigor underneath its appearance.

『 I Was Once The Revered Naga From The Sacred Mountains. I Am My Only Kin — The One And Only Naga. Yet For All My Might, The Mandate Of The Heaven Is Still Mightier, And Calls Upon Rains Of Colossal Meteors That Annihilate Every Creature, Including I.  』

The dragon smirks, its eyes gazing bore through me once more, as it continues to reminisce.

『 All Things Come To An End. Such Is The Way Of The World. I’ve Accepted My Fate As I Face The Descent Of Those Meteors. Welcomed Even. Now Imagine My Surprise When This Great One Becomes Alive Again. What’s More, It Is Thanks To A Human Being. 』

That human must be me, contempt in the word “human”. Considering its background which is highly likely to be back at the Ancient, Verum Shihi Era, where humans are at the bottom, it is reasonable.

「 Then you should be quite dissatisfied with being faced with such an insignificant being. 」

『 Do Not Worry. You Are Undeniably My Creator. I Will Show Respect Where It Is Due. 』

The once high serpentine-like neck is now lowered, its head touching the ground. Its eyes closed. Subservient in posture, though noticeably reluctant.

Five seconds merely pass by and it lifts its head back again already.

『 Now Then. What Is It That You Seek For In Summoning This Great One, Human? Is It To Use This Great One’s Power To Conquer The Whole World?  』

A bold question. Understandable, coming from a supreme ancient dragon. But a wrong question to ask to a fool that is me.

「 I’ve never — ever, wished to conquer the world. I don’t have any particular reason to summon you. Besides, I’m sure you don’t want to be tied with me. 」

『 You May Say That. But An Eternal Divine Soul-Bond Has Formed Between Us. With Me At The Mercy Of Your Whim. 』

With delicateness and concentration on the sensation within my deep inner-self, indeed, there is a new bond — a woven string of arcane mana that connects me with the dragon. It connects rather deeply, which could conclude that it touches both of our abstract souls. Similar to that slave collar, but much more powerful, rigid, and unbending.

Considering the connection between I and the shadow minion, or should I say Adsignatos, what the dragon said is true. This mighty, ferocious dragon will heed to any of my commands…

What kind of joke is this?

I’ve only assumed the purple room’s purpose is to grant me a more powerful mindless loyal shadow minion, not a legendary ancient beast.

Heck, what’s the purpose of getting more power? At the end of the day just like what Elras said, people would only flock to that power or wealth. Not because of who I am.

Whatever it is, the dragon needs an explanation.

「 I have never intended to bind anything, much less an almighty dragon. This is pure accident. 」

『 Calling Forth This Great One Is Almost An Impossible Feat. Even More So Unintentionally. 』

The dragon must’ve doubted me, but what can I say other than it is purely random chance?

An explanation is due, so I point to the swords on top of the altar.

「 I was exploring around a human-made temple ruin and came across those words, where it emits arcane-like mana. Instinctively I know something special from it and my inner-self guides me to place it into the altar where it leads to your summoning.  」

『 So. These Swords Are The Cause Of My Reincarnation. The Same Swords I’ve Blessed To A Puny Human Who Carelessly Lost To My Domain. The Trace That Remains From It Must’ve Allowed You To Summon This Great One. 』

Blessings? That raises a lot of questions. Is it similar to the《School of Enchantment Magic》?

「 So What happened to that human? If the swords are truly blessed by you, how come when I’ve first come across it, it seems to be untaken care of? 」

『 Do You Think This Great One Care An Insignificant Human? Make No Mistake. That Blessing Was Done Out Of Pure Whim. To Avoid Unneeded Bloodshed That Will Taint My Domain With The Fetid Human Blood. 』

 「 Is there a way to release you? 」

『 What’s This? My Creator Being Benevolent? This Great One Appreciates It But That Would Be Unnecessary. For Even If There Is A Method, My Whole Existence Is Tied To That Bond Of Yours.  』

 「 So you are stuck with me? I am sorry in advance. 」

History doesn’t repeat itself. But it often rhymes.

The fact that I managed to send Sian-, no, Hyledd off doesn’t mean I’ll be able to avoid going down the same path once more. And this time I won’t be able to cut ties to solve my mess. Is it the fate in the works that runs the gears of the making of this encounter? Whatever it is, it’s definitely not welcome. For nothing good comes out of it. In the end, this eternal tie will be broken, where it won’t fulfill whatever its purpose, on my end or the dragon’s end.

Stuck in a forced relationship that will end badly. Even more so with this almighty dragon as a vassal, serving to a mere human.

There needs to be a change. Remember, Ryo; true love doesn’t exist.

With that statement in mind, something new comes to mind. A foundational view to base towards this weird relationship.

Cold and proper.

This servitude will only be kept on the basis of honor, duty, and respect for one another. Nothing more, nothing less. With no feelings attached.

「 But at least I can release you physically, right? 」I ask the dragon, this will be the first step towards that.

『 You Could. But This Great One Would Rather Not Blemish Her Scales In The Murky Excuse Of Mana Outside Your Domain Without Good Reason. 』

Ah. I forgot that the cause of proper dragon extinction is not just due to meteor rain. But also the lack of available mana in the air afterward. Its immense dragonic body, full of life and power definitely takes a lot of mana to function properly.

Damn, so that’s the fate of this dragon? To be caged inside this sky-palace with nowhere to go for most of its time?

Renald!

A voice from the inner within comes to me, infiltrating my thoughts. It sounds familiar, and it came from the outside. Professor Meyer’s voice. Times up from the looks of it, he must be searching for me.

「 Sorry to break it to you, but I must leave. I will be back in a short time after I’m done with what I need to do. 」I say with a tinge of shame of having to leave it alone.

『 Your Excessive Worry Is Not Needed. Centuries Of Solitude Is A Normal Occurrence For This Great One. Now Go And Do What You Must.  』

Centuries of being alone…?

I was about to pity this dragon, but I don’t have the right to say that. Who knows, maybe ancient dragons are just built differently.

「 Feel free to explore the palace while I’m gone. I hope you find your time here enjoyable. 」

Without further ado, I immediately conjure a magic spell to leave this sky-palace. And naturally, drowsiness comes to me as I close my eyes…

 

…..

 

「 Renald, where are you at?! 」Professor Meyer shouts, from what seems to be outside the room I’m in.

I wake up from my nap that feels like ages from interacting with the dragon, but I’m sure it’s only been a while since I was awake.

「 I’m here, professor. 」

「 Ohh you’re here. Find anything interesting in this room? 」He says as he comes into the room.

There’s nothing much in this room honestly, broken porcelain and plain old heavy dust. And other weird dust that feels organic… Maybe this is a food storage room? Still, nothing special.

「 I’m sure what you’ve seen answers your question.  」I say with a bit of a smirk.

「 Just because they are not the bountiful gold or treasure that we’ve encountered in the other room, doesn’t mean they don’t hold any historical value. I need to research further. Don’t judge on face value, Renald, 」professor Meyer soon replies, facepalming.

I guess he’s right. I almost forgot the main reason for this expedition in the first place. Archeological research. That dragon encounter must’ve taken a toll on my mind…

With noticeable excitement from his attitude, professor Meyer, ready to examine this mundane room with a magnifying glass in his hand. The opposite of me who’s going to go out of the room.

He really is very enthusiastic in history, even when it is highly assumed to be a human temple ruin instead of a dragonic ruin. But then again, there was that dragon statue…

「 What are you doing, human?! Make yourself useful and help us carry these legacy items up to the surface! 」Dae Sho shouts out of nowhere, being an annoyance as always.

He’s already out from the treasure room. In both of his hands is holding a chest that must’ve been filled with gold and a sling bag with what seems to be a big scroll leaking outwards from it. He’s already decked out in foraging or looting the site’s treasures huh?

Looks like my job is now to help this devil in carrying the items we’ve found.

 

---

『 Hooo… So This Is What’s Left Of The Great Dragon Race. Quite Shocking Indeed. For The Dragon Race To Be Reduced To Little Mere Humanoids. 』

---

 

A thought magically comes to my mind, as I help Dae Sho carry the heavy chest. Must’ve been the dragon. This telepathy system works similarly to that of Adsignatos from the seems of it. With the added ability for the dragon to be able to notice my surroundings. There needs to be more research on this, considering my privacy is greatly at risk, but for now, the dragon seems to be in the need of a conversation partner.

 

---

Are you ashamed of what now happened to your descendants? Or what the dragon race has now become?

『 This Great One Could Care Less. The Dragon Blood May Flow In Their Veins. But They Are Not My Descendents. That One Resemble The Mervyn Kind And The Other Two Resemble The Tian Kind. I Am My Own Kin — The One And Only Naga. 』

---

 

「 Too bad you won’t be joining my class any longer. Teaching when you’re one of my students was surprisingly, very enjoyable. 」

Professor Meyer said, from behind. That’s pretty quick.

「 Such is the way the academy works, professor. 」I respond,「 but I will still be around campus if you need my assistance or help. Although I’m not sure if I have spare free time to do so. 」

「 Senior Meyer. 」Dae Sho intervenes,「 Please excuse me, with Senior Karn’s permission I was tasked to carry our ancestors’ legacy items back to the surface. 」

「 Go ahead. I will check in with Karn Sho and continue investigating this place some more. 」

「 Thanks, Senior Meyer. You heard him human, let’s go! 」

And off we go climbing the stairs that seem to go on forever, carrying big luggage back to the surface, both physically and mentally….

A splash of water drenches me, forcing me to be awake…

And the first thing I notice is Elras with a smug face.

「 Feeling better now? 」

「 Wh-where am I? 」I respond quickly.

「 At the back of the Sugary Sweet Bar. I can’t believe I would find you in a drunken state and much worse — in a peasant bar.  」

「 W-what happened to me? 」

「 Oh dear goddess… Did your mother ever teach you noble etiquette? 」Elras asks, looking me right in the eyes, and soon withdraws slightly, must’ve gotten his answer,「 You were drunk. Some time ago, I was on my way back home after my border patrol, until a city guard reported to me that a certain noble friend of mine is staying in a shitty peasant bar for a concerningly long time. Being the good friend that I am, I’ve come to pick them up. And I can’t believe what I found that friend of mine is apparently you who passed out on the table; drunk, I bet. I had to drag you out and splash cold water onto you so you can gather your senses again. 」

「 Okay… I understand… 」Then… it hit me, something smells horrid here… like a… 「 horse piss… Why am I smelling horse piss… Oh, fuck. Did you just?! 」

「 As much as I think it would be such a hilarious thing to do, I still have some decency, Renald – unlike a certain person. 」Elras adds, mocking me most certainly,「 oh yeah forgot to tell you, the back of the bar is a horse stable, so of course you’re about to smell something funny. 」

Not believing what he said, I smell the shirt I’m wearing and am thankfully able to confirm it’s just normal water. I look throughout my surroundings and indeed we’re inside a horse stable. Beside me is a bloody horse sleeping which I’m guessing is where the funny odor is coming from, and the place where I’m sitting is littered with hay and straw. The clean one as far as I can see, at least I really hope that’s the case.

「 Ughh fair enough… 」I say whatever comes to my mind, headache, migraine still being a bitch, must be the hangover,「 Well… thanks for waking me up, good night Elras. 」

I get up and soon head towards the stable exit, ignoring Elras as I just want to be left alone.

「 Not so fast Renald… 」Elras says, reaching out, his hand firmly gripping on my shoulder, stopping me.

I want to be mad, but I’m not in a condition to be able to get mad at him. Ughh.. to think this migraine is such a pain…

「 Renald, I’m not dumb. 」Sternliness in his voice,「 A diligent student who’s at the top of his class is now staying in a shithole bar late at night, drinking beer and spirits like the world ends tomorrow. Something happened to you, and I want to find out. 」

「 Fuck off… It’s none of your concern. 」I try to shout, but there’s barely any energy within me.

「 What if it IS my concern? 」

He says, grabbing my shoulder, forcing me to look at him dead center in the eyes.

「 Fine… I’m too tired to go against you… in this pitiful state of mine… 」I say, defeated and tired,「 So, what do you want, Elras? You’ve captured this fool. 」

「 Come, 」Elras walks to the exit of the stable, 「 Let’s talk in a decent place, one not littered with horse dung. 」

By the time we’re out of the stable, his carriage is already in the front with his attendants.

I almost lose my balance and fall down, thank the goddess, one of his attendants is observant and quick enough to prevent my slip…. I guess I’m still a bit drunk.

How much did I drink anyway…

Ahhh I don’t know…

I’ve basically left with a few measly coppers anyhow…

Wait, what… We’ve already arrived at Elras’s place…?

Elras drags me to one of his empty rooms…

I sit down on one of the sofas, still feeling a bit clumsy…

He seems to grab two glasses and a bottle of wine… Nice…

「 Didn’t know you were such a gentleman, Elras.. 」I say, reaching my hand towards the glass.

「 You already drank a lot, Renald. I’ll be the one pouring wine into your glass. 」He says, as he pours wine into the glass, barely enough for three sips…

While he pours his almost to the brim. This fucking bastard!

「 Just drinking fantastic wine is fine by me but what do you have in mind Elras? 」I say trying to distract myself from this obvious unfairness.

「 What have you been up to recently Renald? 」

「 What are you? My mother? 」I reply immediately.

「 Don’t be like that. I’ve been toiling myself inside the walls away from home’s comfort and this is how you greet me? 」

「 Well… Nothing much. Just adventuring here and there. 」

「 And how could a simple adventure cause you to suddenly become an old fart, drinking down his regrets in life. 」

Silence ensues, with only the faint sound of sips between me and Elras.

「 …If you don’t want to answer then that’s fine. But I know something is up with you. 」

「 How about you just leave it at that then?! 」

Just fucking leave me alone…

I just want to be left alone.

A fucking piece of shit like me deserves to be alone.

「 Renald. 」his voice a bit soother this time,「 how about listening to a friend’s old story? 」

「 As long as you pour me more wine. 」

「 Fine… I hope goddess Maria takes pity on you… 」

He pours me another three sips worth of wine. Fuck. I should’ve said the amount.

「 Remember my older brother that I’ve told you before? 」

Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

「 Yeah? What about it? You never told me much about your brother. 」

「 That brother of mine… 」he begins to ponder,「 he was a prodigious man. Excelled in almost anything you can imagine, horse-riding, swordsmanship, magic, army leadership, and even territory management. Devilishly handsome too, even more than me. The perfect Reinhardt. Our parents loved him more than I.

「 He also used to have a very beautiful fiance — Ayla Girtz, from the Girtz duke family. My words couldn’t express just how beautiful she is. With the hair of the finest gold and radiant emerald eyes. The size of huge melons that carries men’s biggest wish. Before I even knew the concept of lust, at such a young age, she was my biggest desire. And for her to be owned by that brother of mine. My envy grew to the limit. If given the chance, I wouldn’t have hesitated to kill him. 」

「 Seems to me you were able to explain her extravagant beauty just fine. Didn’t even know you could be this poetic. 」

「 This is because of the great wine, Renald, 」he boasts, 「 then out of nowhere — as you know — he died from an unexpected elven ambush. At first, I was very happy. I mean the root of my deep hatred was gone, anybody in my shoes would be happy right? But things changed. His fiance heavily grieved for the loss of my brother, I still remember how loud she cried at his burial. But, somehow, in just a week, her attitude towards me changed. Before, she ignored me, but after his death, she started approaching me confidently to the point of teasing me relentlessly. I felt disgusted by how easily she changed.

「 It was the first time I felt great sympathy for my once hated brother. To think his fiance would go after another man so quickly. The noble circles then followed suit. The once-neglected me suddenly became heavily prominent everywhere, invitations for gatherings rose, and many more. I was disgusted by them. They only started bothering or noticing me after my brother died.  」

「 But no man lives alone, so I still accept their approaches, knowing full well they only see me as the next-in-line successor of the Reinhardt Marquis family. 」

「 And one of their approaches includes me huh? 」I interject.

「 No Renald, No… Most nobles I encountered are always two-faced. They love spouting sweet words and shower me with expensive, yet soulless gifts. You and Aaron however, are very different. I’m used to men approaching me for business favors, women seducing me in the hopes of becoming my concubine or even wife — their eyes set on the Reinhardt Marquis family status and treasury. You on the other hand, just want to get into《Dyron Temperament》guild. Which is weird I must say — but your motives are very direct, something I’ve never experienced before and what I’ve come to appreciate. 」

「 Why are you even telling me all of this?  」

「 Because I appreciate our friendship. And your current state reminds me of my past self. 」

Past self huh…

Nothing has changed between my past and my current self.

I’ve always been destined to be alone. And I won’t be able to change that. I should accept that and not bother changing the inevitable.

「 Life is a bitch, Renald. 」Elras adds,「 A priest once told me “To live is the same as to suffer” and to this day I hold that saying very dearly.  」

「 So why bother living then? 」

「 Noblesse Oblige, Renald… Noblesse Oblige. 」He says, drinking big gulps of wine,「 Us nobles with our wealth and status, have an obligation to fulfill, to the people. I’m the only son left in the family, and I don’t want my sister to live her life inside the walls or on the battlefield. So I live for the sole purpose of continuing the Reinhardt Marquis family. 」

「 Easy for you. 」I sneer at him,「 I don’t know if you noticed but I’m basically a bloody bastard child. 」

「 Yeah I know. Your sword gives it away. A hand and a half sword, or the more popular term, the “bastard’s sword”. Most noble uses either a saber or a longsword. So I have my suspicion and was proven correct shortly after I did some research on your family. 」

Wh-what? Hand and a half sword? Is that why when I grip it with both of my hands it feels too tight?

「 On the bright side. 」Elras continues,「 you’re not tied to Noblesse Oblige. You can do whatever you want. Pure Freedom. Although, a man without responsibility or purpose tied to him is the same as a wandering animal. Living on pure instinct alone. 」

「 So what you’re saying I should find a goal, a purpose in life? I don’t believe in such bullshits. 」

Not after finding true love is such a delusional one.

「 That might be your answer. But think about it more for a while. Especially when you’re fully sober. I know for a fact, finding a goal or purpose in life is a daunting task. Noblesse Oblige is the easy answer for me. 」

「 A purpose in life huh….  」I say those words out loud, pondering over them, trying to make sense of such a spiritual and abstract concept.

「 That reminds me… When are you supposed to depart on that archaeological expedition or whatever that is with that boring professor? 」

「 Yeah… Professor Meyer told me to find a ship named “Gloria” in the morning, at the end of the month, so around two and a half weeks from now on… 」

「 Well how about you focus on that trip for now? A change of pace is what you need the most. And perhaps… you’ll find something new over there? A grumpy old professor for sure though! 」He says, laughing at his own weird joke.

「 I would need to depart tomorrow morning now that I think about it. 」

「 That means, tonight is our farewell meeting then. Make sure you stop drinking, you already got drunk beforehand anyway. 」

I nod in agreement, although very hesitantly with the way he keeps pouring wine from time to time. How can you stop somebody from drinking when you’re still drinking yourself? Wait, didn’t he already drink like three glasses of wine…. Elras is a heavy drinker, doesn’t he…

But he’s right. I should get away from this land as soon as possible. Away from my foolish actions. But to find something over there? Yeah, I wish…..

 

「 Master, where are we actually going? Aren’t we supposed to visit the《Adventurer’s Creed》guild? 」Siana says, prying for any explanation.

Of course, she would be confused. We’re outside the city, past the Great Wall of Vosgant. It’s about time I tell her why we are deviating from the previous plan.

「 For a change of pace and scenery, 」I lie as naturally as I can, 「 I want to see outside the great wall, the rumored mystical greenery of the elven territory. 」

The weather is at its prime with warm sunshine and only a few clouds lingering in the sky, showcasing the beautiful light blue of the sky. A chilly breeze sweeps the land, giving me slight chills. Or is it what might unfold that’s giving me the chills I wonder?

Across the horizon, lies a very otherworldly scene. Amidst the seas of towering greens, there’s a singular tree that stood out like a sore thumb. What’s so different about this tree is how it even pierces the clouds. Its sheer humongous size overwhelms anything, yet what I feel from its presence is not fear nor awe — but calmness and peace.

「 Siana… What is that monstrous tree? 」

「 That’s coeden ddwyföl — the elven divine mother tree, master. 」Siana says, excitement flashes in her eyes,「 it is said the first elven kind was born in that tree. The elven society heavily reveres the tree and always performs all sorts of elven rituals or ceremonies. The second most place held for rituals would be…  」

That’s strange… why does she stop near the end….

「 Please continue, Siana. 」I urge her, not able to withhold my curiosity.

「 B-b-but… 」

「 Your master wants to listen to the end. Please continue, my Siana. 」

「 It would be Dįwedd Mynydd… or what the humans would call as Vosgant mountain range. The first elven man died there, praying for the elven goddess — crëwr, for all eternity until his last breath…. P-please punish me, master, I committed a great sin! Just please don’t sell me out! 」

「 Woah… calm down Siana. It’s my wish for you to tell me your elven way of life. 」

「 B-but I committed a great sin! 」

「 If that’s the case, then it is my wish and command to not punish you for what I consider as such a small and insignificant thing. 」

「 O-okay… Thank you for your graciousness, master. 」

「 Do you miss your past home? 」I ask, prompting for her reaction.

「 Why would I? My home is now with you, master. 」she says as she shows a big smile.

Which I notice to be forced…

…That’s all the answer I need.

The girl who brought me back from the edge of despair…

…is forcing herself beyond it instead.

Whether it was out of pity, resignation, or fear, I will never know unless I do this.

「 Do you wish to return? To your kin?  」

「 No! I’m happy with you, master! I don’t ever want to return. 」

At the prospect of returning, Siana shows genuine dislike.

But would I want my parents, siblings, and friends to see me being the possession of a stranger? To meet them, but know that the only thing that allows me to is the whim of a person who exchanged me for a bag of gold coins?

I just hope the beautiful weather and the sunshine bring me great luck on this endeavor filled with anxiety.

We closed by to the edge of the dense elven forest.

Goddess Maria, I’ve never prayed to you, heck I even don’t believe you exist. But if you do exist and hear the plea of this insignificant being, please keep my heart in an ambient steady beat. Amen.

「 S-siana.. 」f-fuck I can’t believe I stutter.

「 Yes, master? Why are we so close to the edge of the goed-, uhh.. I mean, elven forest? 」

「 Do you love me, S-siana? 」I ask, my words slipping on their own.

Instead of a word from her, a more chilly breeze comes. So silence is her answer.

She can’t even pretend or say empty words of how she loves me huh…

「 Then do you want to be free, Siana? 」

Beating around the bush. I hate myself for it. But I can’t bring myself to create facts.

「 I-I don’t understand… What do you mean master?! 」

「 If… if your love for me outweighs your yearn for your family then stay with me here. If you don’t love me then take the small bag of provisions and I won’t stop you from going back to your home…. To your… Gruffydd… 」

Didn’t I want to help her? Now I sound like a bitter lover.

「 H-how… How did you know him?! 」

「 I have my sources… now please decide… I’ll support whatever you choose. 」

「 B-b-but…  」Doubt. Disbelief. Worry about slipping up.

Caution. But no hesitation.

I reach for her collar.

She jolts. I’m reaching for her neck after all. She shivers, in fear perhaps.

A single thought.

『 Release! 』

Alongside the collar, something snaps inside me.

She freezes as it hits the ground.

「 I’ll take that as a yes. I can’t make things up to you, but at least this is possible. Now go. 」

My words snap her back into reality. She looks at me, bewildered.

She doesn’t say anything. Still doesn’t seem to grasp my actions.

Tears form in her eyes as she reaches for her unadorned neck.

A pale band of skin is all that remains of the choker of her free will. But for her, not even that exists.

…Please don’t go. Please don’t go. Please don’t go.

Please tell me that I was just being paranoid. Please don’t leave me alone.

Ah. F-fuck….

She left just like that.

She runs so quickly with her nimble feet.

In less than a minute, she’s already nowhere to be seen. Vanished inside the dense elven forest.

She’s gone… She’s fucking gone….

Siana.. No. Hyledd was right to leave me.

I… I should’ve never said that I love her…

I never should’ve fucked her against her unconscious will, or ruin her relationship…

Beneath her gentle and loving appearance, is pain and betrayal she’s forced to hide. And which I’ve brought to her.

The guilt threatened to swallow my soul.

With nothing else to do, I start to walk back home. The once clear sky is now filled with grey clouds with no gaps in between. It’s dark.

I fucked up badly. I’m an idiot to think I would feel love just because I bought a slave.

She’s only obedient and acts affectionately towards me not because of what I am, but because I’m her master. That’s not love.

Deep inside me, I expected to cry like a bitch if this happened. But now… I’m not crying…

Then, out of nowhere, small droplets of water fell, ushering me, drenching me. Each raindrop impacted me as if it’s reminding me of my failures. The present and the past.

No wonder my wife cheated on me. I’m the sole reason for my own unhappiness. Releasing our master-slave bond is the least I could do… It’s the right thing to do…

Life is such a cruel joke.

L̴͖̎o̵͈͊v̵̼̉ẽ̴̗ ̸̲̓i̷͖̐s̶̖͑ ̷̼͑f̵̖̀ȏ̸̟r̵̹͋ ̸̺͊ẗ̷̥́h̶̜̑ȇ̵̝ ̴̤̀w̵̘̚e̴̲̿ă̴͍k̸̙̃

 

Previous Chapter — Next Chapter

「 Yes, Master~! Yes! Yes! Fuck me! Fuck me! 」

「 I’m cumming Siana! I love you! 」I scream on top of my lungs as I pour the third batch of fresh white seeds inside her damp pussy.

「 Haa… Haa…. Haaaa… 」Siana pants heavily. Her eyes half-closed as if they’re going to shut any second now.

Even though I’ve been the one who’s doing the moving, her white skin slightly glistens with sweat. With the intense adventuring we did today, she must be tired.

I move away from her, not wanting to burden her anymore.

I then grab a wet towel to clean up both me and Siana. As I start wiping her sweat and our love juice, Siana starts feeling guilty about it, wanting to be the one to clean me up, including cleaning herself. However, I keep insisting to be the one to do it and Siana gives up soon. But as I clean both of us, she keeps apologizing and feels ashamed about it, promising to be the one in charge after cleaning, asking whether she did anything wrong the last time.

After we are all cleaned up, I call it a day by turning off the light and tucking into bed with Siana.

「 M-master… 」Siana says softly,「 Aren’t you still raring to go? 」

「 Siana… 」I begin hesitantly, not sure what to say,「 I’m dead tired. You’re overestimating my stamina. I’m going to sleep, and you should too. 」

「 B-but last night you’ve cummed more than- 」

「 Good night, Siana. 」I say, purposefully cutting her off.

「 …Good night master… 」Siana says tiredly, giving up it seems, as she closes her eyes.

With me and Siana tucked in bed, I close my eyes and then I, too, try to go to sleep.

Minutes have passed, but I’m nowhere near falling asleep.

My eyes are closed, but my mind is still fully awake to the present.

I lied when I said I was also tired, in fact, I’ve never been as energized as any time before.

How could I, when she — my ultimate fantasy — is less than a meter away from me.

Ever since she comes, I never really want to drift away to sleep unless I really have to.

For she is the fire of my heart — my will to live.

I want to embrace her so badly, to wrap my arms around her and enjoy our warmth and skin touching one another. To bask in the heat of both lust and love for all eternity. And ironically, at the same time, to dominate her and use her in any way as I please, knowing fully she will gladly accept my wildest desires.

Even so, I must hold down my urges to the best I can, knowing that she’s tired. I should not push her to the limit.

Drifting to sleep was something I always waited for at the end of the day. To escape from this cold reality. To dream of a wonderful fantasy that could never exist in reality, as my thoughts become slow and peaceful as a beautiful carousel.

Yet that fantasy I’ve always dreamed of, something I always yearned for foolishly, somehow became a reality. It feels surreal how easy it can be; with just a signature on a piece of paper, I get what I seemingly forever wanted.

Now after finally achieving my ultimate fantasy, I’m left with little direction. That kind of feeling after achieving your dream, that feeling of emptiness. But well… There are other goals and dreams that I wish to be realized now after having her.

To spend my time with her as we grow older together, perhaps in a humble yet comfortable home near a boundless meadow surrounded by mountains, away from the hustle and business of daily life, something I also always wish for back in my horrible past life but never got to be actualized.

But now, I’m in control. I am a master and she’s my slave — a loyal and devoted slave. I just hope that she’s excited with my idea, the life of constant adventure with danger lurking around on all corners is not for the likes of me and hopefully so does she.

I always dream of a peaceful and calm life, but life circumstances always make their way to deny me what I truly wanted. I can’t wait for what lies in the futu-

「 …. *hiks* G-Gruffydd… *hiks*…..」

W-why is she crying? Is she having a nightmare?

「 ….peidiwch â…. nynd….. Gruffydd… 」She says in perhaps an incomprehensible elvish language.

What’s Grufyd? Or Nynd? Or whatever she’s saying in her nightmare… I didn’t know the language barrier was going to be such an issue. Now that I think about it… Maybe this is something that’s been bothering her for the past few days? Related to her recent weird demeanor.

This is the first time she’s experiencing a very obvious nightmare. Is there even a way to peek inside her nightmare…?

Wait… There is a way. The《Somn》spell.

One of the most ultimate spells for the Wits magicians. Not much is known about the《Somn》spell, other than its arcane ability to peek inside the targeted mind.

The problem is, I barely understand it on a surface level and that is purely thanks to Instructor Smush’s demonstration of the spell. Learning it on the go might be possible… But…

What if I failed or screwed up in the chanting process? Who knows the severe side effect of imperfect spell conjuration…

「 …Gruffydd… 」

I look closely at Siana again, droplets of tear forms in her closed eyes, flowing in no small amount, wetting the pillow. Is the nightmare that horrible? Should I just wake her up?

Maybe no…

I can’t help but feel like there’s something much more going on in here. She’s hiding something from me; I’ve always felt this way before but have been afraid of discovering it further. But this time… after knowing for certain there is something going on, related to her past most definitely, I need to know the whole truth, even if it hurts. Although I’m afraid of what will happen to the both of us after it.

I could only pray to goddess Maria that I’m just being overly pessimistic about all of this…

Collecting my will and determination, I whisper my spell chant to the sky palace, where an intense studying period awaits. And the long-awaited drowsiness comes quickly…

 

…..

 

Manaritium chalk powder mix for the foundation of magic rune ritual, check.

Vitriol decoction for magic circle substance, check.

And mana potion for extra mana just in case, check.

Now for the important part of the《Somn》spell ritual, the magic circle.

With the powder mix, I form a magic circle on the floor, encircling the bed. The magic circle is meticulously woven with all sorts of patterns and symbols embedded. The creation of it is calculated adjusting to all sorts of variables, specified from the Wits magic textbook. Some parts of the calculation are still questionable in their accuracy, mostly due to my incompetence, but the only thing I can do now is to pray that it is not too far off.

To finish it off, sprinkles around one-fourth of the vitriol decoction vial on the outer part of the circle. This helps in bonding the connection of the mind to the magic circle.

And with that the preparation for the magic circle is done, all that’s left is the chant.

「 Spirit to Body…

Body to Mind…

Bind thee mind to thy…

As our mind and spirit are woven together;

『 Somn! 』」

Drowsiness and a huge headache come in a flash, my head feels like it’s going to explode. With no resistance, I fall down, and drift to sleep….

 

…..

 

By the time I’m conscious again, what greeted me the first is bright sunlight that amplifies the headache I’m feeling. The migraine is as annoying as ever; must be the side effect of the immature usage of the《Somn》spell. I should be grateful that this is the only side effect, who knows what else could happen.

I remember the Wits Magician instructor, Cathryn Smush, once mentioned there had been a student who experienced a coma for a week just for rushing in the creation of an advanced《School of Wits Magic》spell that is above his level or ability?

Towering gigantic trees that pierce the high clouds are everywhere as far as the eyes can see. Yet even with its lush branches and leaves, it doesn’t obscure the sunlight, for the lower level is well-lit and I can even feel the slight warmth of the sun touching my skin.

In these trees lie magnificent treehouses. Made not just with wood but what seems to be artistic stones that amplify its elegant beauty. Even if it’s wood it seems to be carved with foreign motifs and patterns that I could only assume to be related to elven culture. And each of these houses or settlements is connected to one another via rigid bridges. All of them marvel at me with their extensive and amazing engineering craft.

As my eyes wander to all of my surroundings, enjoying the beauty of it all, I notice a couple sitting side by side, holding hands, smiling ever so brightly, like they’re in their own world. Feeling a bit curious, I come closer to them. And soon that curiosity vanishes as I realize who they actually are…

M-my Siana… with a devilishly handsome elven man.

「 Fy Hyledd.. 」The elven man says as he kisses Siana back…

Their long kiss is ever so gentle and full of affections. As if they…. Are… lovers of one another….

「 Fy Gruffydd…. 」Siana says, ever so gentle.

At the end of their kisses, that elven man reaches out to his pocket. A tiny wooden box is brought out. He opens it, and what’s inside is a ring…. A marriage ring… F-fu

「 Ynn gadáel í brioødi…  Fy Hyledd.. 」

「 Unn! Gruffydd! Rwy’n dy gæru di! 」

Siana takes the ring in the flash, and wears it on her ring finger…

I… I can’t believe this… Did I just… witness a m-marriage proposal….

H-hyledd? Is that…. Siana’s true name? Before she became a slave?

This is…. This is too much to bear… to discover…

Then what was my connection with Siana… No, Hyledd…

I came here to help her with the nightmares haunting her.

But is this a nightmare?

No, a happy reunion.

For her, the reality is the nightmare.

Of course…

Of course…

Of course…

I’m such a fucking idiot…

Why did I still believe in such a foolish idea? True love? That shit doesn’t exist for people like me. I should’ve learned from my lesson in the past life… And here I am believing in such a bullshit idea.

Fuck… I should’ve known…

Why would anybody love a piece of shit that is me…

Who would voice dislike for the master over their life?

I drove her in a corner and thought I made her happy.

It isn’t that nobody loves me just because I’m unlikeable.

It’s because I don’t deserve it.

Wh-what… M-my head… What’s with this headache…

The migraine is becoming bigger and bigger as if somebody is beating my head over and over again…

F-fuck.. What’s happening…

I… I.. can’t stay much longer…

F-fuck.. I’m going tooo passs ou….

 

…

 

「̸̯̗̅̄̊̄̾̕ ̸̬̹̈́̀͆̾̆͝S̸̥̣̞͂̈͘ḩ̷̻̿͌̕ḛ̶̪̟̻̌̒͂͋̉’̴̠̼̯͎̪̇̇͒͆̀ș̷̓̉̔ ̶̩̜̯͇͖̉̓̕n̶̛̆̊͜ọ̸̾͝t̴̲̰̔̇̈́ ̵͕̥̮̃̆͌ͅc̶̮̯͆ǫ̷̱̋͑͑̅̕m̵̨̼̎͘͝p̷̧̢̤͍̍̂̉͑̈̕ĺ̸̢̺̞̞̫̒ȩ̷̢̛̯̿̍͜͝t̸̡̛͙̤̆̈͠e̵̢͕̥̣̋̏͆l̷̛̠͙̣̪̆̿̈̈́͛y̵̡͖͓̯͔̏̆͐̇́͠ ̶̯̮̼̳̟̱̔t̶͚́̅̏̅̍͝r̶̢̦̪̬̬̝̒͂a̵͈̩͈̅̑į̶̛̺̹͉̫̄̄̑͘n̸̡̼͇͚͙͊̃́͝ͅe̵̙͚͒͆̇̚d̵̞̊͗,̶̻̗̂͜ ̴̛͇̃m̷̙̔̔͌̒́̄a̷̻̹̬̟̓̓ṣ̵̡̗̺̭̌̈́͠ț̵̂ĕ̵̛̝̦̘̯͔r̷̛̟̯̍̈.̶͚̻̟́ ̶̺̄̓Ṡ̶̹̜̇͂͝h̷̞̺̬̋̆͠ḛ̴̳̜̇̎̅̚̚͠ ̶̛̩̗͙̞͇̃͐̉̑ś̸̜͊̏̍͘ͅt̶̖̖̘͎̥̭̎ḯ̴̻̠̰̰̰̒̐̈́̉ĺ̷͍͎̰͇̓̅̍l̵̢͚̖̎͝ ̴̛̱͋̆̚͝r̷͈̖͉̺̟̜̋̐̿̀͠ȩ̸̧̫̲̤́͗̓͑͝ͅm̸̧̞̭̙͉̝̐̔͠ę̸̨̻͉͙̍m̵͎͓̼͉̌̆͛̔̋̊b̶̡̡̘͈̯̿͊̍̓̿ͅe̵̳̦͍͈͙͗̆̎͋͝r̷̰͉͆̎s̷͇͎̝̑̃̌̿͜ ̴̼̟̲̣̻̏̍̉h̷̬͈͍̤̺́̆͝ȩ̸̛̝̩̫̂̓̀͂͜r̷̻̪͐̈́͛ ̸̡̛̱̰̱̹̳̿̍ṕ̷̡̅̐̈́͌̚a̶̗̖͚̪͈͛̈̉̀͂ś̸̠̩̣͈͘ẗ̶̛̽́ͅ.̶͔̹̾̒̑̈͝ ̷̡͕͍͓̋̀͂̇̚͝」̷̭͂͛

̶̱̽̓̈́̇̏

̸̙̲͕̯͎̃͛̃͂̈́͝「̵͔̈́̅̏͒̋͠ ̸͖̫̪͚͙͇̂͗͐͊́͠C̶̹̩͉̟͙͑ạ̴̝̎̿͝n̶̰̩̪͔̝̽͝’̶̢̢̖̻̋̀̄́͠ţ̸̠̉̀͑̇͜͝ ̴͈̳̖̭͉̔̈͑b̴͇̰̕ͅe̸̹̋̇͘ ̸̮͎̗͇̈́̃̅ͅh̴̖́́̊̕͘̕e̵̱͈̟̻̱͈̐l̴̢̲͓̙͇̟̎͊͗̂̋p̴̡̣̊ĕ̷̮͔̫̦̍͝ḋ̷͈̰̤̐̕͝.̸̻̽̍͂̉̊̚ ̸̛͙̠̺̊̒̏̎H̸̛͓̰͙̏̋̐͒ͅë̷͍́̒’̷̡̡̧̻̭͗́̾̄̌̕ś̶̰̗̭̏̓͘͜ ̸̧͇̤̺̰́́͝n̷̝̝̮̬̰̈́ớ̷̻̪t̶̝̳͔͝ ̴̢̡̛̩͍̳̥̍́͗͒͠a̸̩̘͍̪̦͐͊̐̕͝ͅ ̶̥̯̫̎͗͂̉͛b̵̛͈̗͚̂͜į̸͖̙̳͎̭̓͂g̷̢̰̊͊̚͝ ̷͍̣̀̏͠͝t̶̹̞̠̱̩̲͗̃͝á̷̱̃r̵̗̞͎̞̤̉͗̐́͊́g̸̝͐̏̽͋̕ȩ̶̭͍̱̇̂͆̑t̶̘̠̰͖̳́̎̀͒ͅ ̸͓̤̙͓̈́̕͝ͅą̴̨̖̬̮͍̌͋͘n̶̝̙̬̙̞̐̄́y̴̜̹̜̤̍̿ͅẁ̶̛̳̰͎̮̪̇͝a̸͙͚͔̩̪̎͝͝͝y̸̳͒̀̏́̌͌.̷̭͗̎̔̓ ̴̼̬̭̒̽̃」̵̳̝͉̼͆̀͐̋̚

̵̛͚͈͆̕̕͝

̷̨͍̩̬̌͜「̷̮̞̺͔́̔͂͊̂̚ ̴̨̛̦̬̿́͐́R̷̢̨͓̄͛͛̑ę̵̼̝̳̎͊͋̈́͑ḿ̵̜̦̰̓̊̔̕ȩ̴͚̭̫̼́̄ͅm̸̗̬͚͌͜b̶͈̮͕̹̺̳̎͋̌̕e̷̼͉͇̱̠̓̏̽͆́͘ͅr̷̺̆̃̿̐͝,̴͙̬̔͂̀̅͌ ̷͙̩͎̰͐͆Y̸̡̛͓̤͔̎ǫ̴̽͐͆ủ̴̫͇̟̝̦̄͑͊ṛ̶̖̪̖́͗̆͠ͅ ̵̲͓̬͎̥̼̽̅n̴̬̎̅á̷̼̭m̷̨̪͓͂ĕ̶̯̫̫̹̭̫͌͋̌ ̶̼̝̳̤̾į̷̻̥̣̅s̸̢̞͕̘̤̓̐ ̴̨̘̗͈́̐͜͝n̵͈̥̂o̴̩͎̩͒ ̷̢͈̂̿̚ļ̷̠̫̈̀̎o̴̻̰̤͉͔̾̔͐ͅn̴͕͇̫͒ǵ̸̮͔̯̦͋͊͂͘e̶̲̽̐̌̈́ṙ̵̖̭̹ ̴̨̊̇͘H̵̨̭͇̹̍̽̋̊̍͌y̴̬͎̪̌̑ĺ̷̤͕̺̯̈́̎e̸͕͝d̵̲̖̓d̴̢̈́̈́,̴̟̠͖͓͐̿̇ ̵̢̨̹͇͇̻̒̋i̸̳̎͗́͛͘̚͜t̴̢̘̹͔͎̜͗̈́̇͒̓’̵͕̩̼̮͗̄̅̍̏͝s̷̠͙̝̳͗̇͝ ̸̮͂̑͂̽̚S̷̢̹̻̯̿̓͂̕î̵̻̺̟ą̷͓̹̘͈̔͌̾̓̌̀n̶̟͍̲̤̖͆̆͜a̸̬̭̗̯̋͜ ̷͎̥͇̉͝n̴̜̟͑̔̐ǫ̵̛͇͊̒̀̇͆w̸̧̨̫͓̲͎̎̈́.̸͍͙̐̃̓̕͝͝ ̴̗̰͗̊́̒̈́͊A̶̧̞̠͍͚̯͛̐ñ̴͕̣̣̖̼͝ḑ̵̮͉͙̰̙́͂ ̶͎͖̣͇͙̦͆̑r̴̡̧̭̱̄̔̇̕͜͝͝e̵͚͌́̍̀̕̕m̶͔͎̖̙̌̏ȇ̵͖̘̦m̵͈͙̜̼̚b̸̳͖͙̒͑͜͜͠e̶̹̹̯͗̑̀r̷̼̺̖̆̆̈́̌͒̚͜,̶̬̲̖̠̱̒́͋̚ ̶̬̱͓̌̀ͅ—̴̰̞͎͐́͆̌͘ ̴̰̞̃̿͒̆I̸̜͓̹̦̦͌̔̑’̷̨̗̭̥́̏̔̀̕m̵͉̩͖̳͎̈̉̀͋̓̕ ̵͕̀ý̵̳̣̘̾͐̚ò̴̯̫̑͝u̷̡͛͊̉͠r̵͔̙̾ ̷͉̳̱͎̭͕͑t̴̟͔͎͙̍͆̓̇͘ŗ̶͙̓͆̔͗̽̕u̶̲̍̉̑̿ë̵̜̭̫̗̻́̉͒̈́ ̷̼̟̥̓͠͠m̷͚̘̝̑͜a̴̳͐š̴̮̥͚̗͈̂t̸̲͚̀͛͘̚e̸͎̼̓͒̎̒͛͘r̴͕̼̟̔̿̀̆̊͛ ̷͉͐̊̇͆」̷̡̲͚̈̉̉̽̕͘

̴̞̰̱̌̆̑̚

…

 

「 M-master! Please wake up! Are you alright?! 」

Wh-what…?

It’s my elven sla… Siana?

「 Master! You’re awake! 」

She jumps and hugs me tight. Her head snuggles, brushing her head around my neck…

What used to be lush greens on top is now replaced with a cold ceiling. Looks like I’m back to the normal world.

Back to reality, bringing the cursed knowledge of Siana’s past.

Is sleep the answer after all?

To my problems, and hers?

Just dreaming for the rest of our lives about the world we want to be in?

I always looked down on addicts acting solely to get their next dose.

But maybe that’s the way?

We earn enough to stay alive. And sleep whenever else.

She gets the Gruffydd she loves. And I get a Siana who loves me.

No.

I’m pathetic for even thinking that. That’s not true love.

I won’t avoid the issue. I’ll face it. Her.

For her.

For our future.

(3rd POV, Narrator)

Heavy downpour sweeps the area of the sleepless night of Tokyo. The sound of the small yet countless droplets of water impact succumbs the area into silence, leaving a slightly eerie white noise of it. Puddles form around the sidewalk and asphalt road, as the whole city becomes drenched.

Surprisingly, the midnight rainstorms seem to have stopped almost all activity of the area, and it pours forever long. At least, that’s what a single woman thought of the weather living in a downtrodden part of Tokyo, inside of a small four tatami mats sized apartment room.

Just like its neighborhood, the room is shady at best. The walls are so thin and tiny cracks are almost everywhere to the point it wouldn’t shock her if it can be torn down with a single punch. Tiny growing molds are also apparent on all corners, something that disgusted her constantly and she can’t get used to, no matter how long she stayed there.

She’s left laying down in a small futon just near the window, looking to the outside world. A grim and dark alley littered with trash and pipes puffing out smokes. Drunken salarymen would sometimes pass the alley, throwing up midway, leaving a horrifying smell that just adds the hopelessness aura of its cramped space. The only upside of the place is that other than its occasional random passerby, it’s relatively deserted, giving her some needed peace.

Yet, no matter how much noise the rainstorm can get, it fails to mask the ringtone of her smartphone. The woman notices it of course, how couldn’t she went it buzzed constantly for the whole day. Exactly twenty-four times, she counted.

This time, however, the buzzes hit differently. Maybe it’s because of the constant ringing or the fact she’s not been eating food recently, where even if she eats, it’s always the cheap pre-packaged kind you can always find in seven-eleven minimarts. But nevertheless, the buzzes call for her attention constantly. A mix of annoyance and anger is directed towards the phone after so long she tries to ignore it.

Fed up with the constant annoyance, she helplessly picked up the call.

「 Oh my god!!! 」The man on the other side of the phone says furiously, forcing her to momentarily distance her ears away from her phone, 「  Finally, you’ve picked up the goddamn phone! Do you know how many times I’ve called you?! You know that you’ve been skipping your shifts unannounced for several days right?!?! There’s even a customer who booked for you yesterday! Something that rarely happens for you ugly ass whore and you screw it up by not attending to the establishment! Do you know how much I have to reimburse for not meeting the customer’s expectations?! 」

「 …Yes… 」the woman replies reluctantly, knowingly nothing good will come of saying many words to her manager.

「 Look, If you don’t want to do this anymore then that’s fine by me. You’re the least popular hostess anyway. I’m just calling you to let you know that you’re fired. Never bother the establishment anymore. Farewell.  」

「 W-wait! 」she desperately shouts.

But the call is already cutoff.

「 Damn it! 」she says to no one in particular, as she throws her phone to the bed, feeling frustrated, 「 that piece of shit manager doesn’t even bother paying the rest of my paycheck! 」

She knew inside, however, even if she has any, that shady underground establishment wouldn’t graciously give it to her, especially with her already minuscule reputation.

Back then, out of desperation, with no one to ask for help. She was left to survive by selling her body in a shady soapland. It was her last option. Not necessarily actually, of course, there are always other ways, but will it give her the same luxury she once had?

It might be dirty, but other than faking moans and having to withstand pleasing ugly clients, it was relatively effortless and it was fine for her. As long as she can continue her luxurious lifestyle, everything is fine she thought.

Lifestyle-wise, nothing has changed. She’s still able to stroll around Ginza, buying whatever luxurious fashion item that catches her eyes without even thinking about the costly price, ending the night with a dinner at a luxurious fine dining restaurant on an almost daily basis.

But that wonderful lifestyle is shortly dismissed after fresh recruits of cuter, more beautiful, and most importantly younger girls take the center scene of the establishment. No rich men would want to sleep with women past her prime age — below the age of thirty anyway.

Her future now looks very grim. It has always been grim. It’s just now that she truly felt it to the core, added with her not knowing exactly just how minuscule the remaining money in the bank. Other than it is less than a month’s rent for sure. She’s basically living on borrowed time. Now, she regretted wasting her money on many useless branded fashion items or on trending holiday trips.

Left with money problems in a shitty apartment, she is truly hopeless to live by. She begins to wonder why bother living anymore. What’s the purpose of living anyway when she has to suffer this much. Is there a way to escape from this hellish nightmare that becomes a reality?

As she contemplates life, she begins to remember someone, a person that could possibly get her out of her current shitty life — her past boyfriend. But soon immediately remove the idea. Not much is known about him anymore. After the widespread news of their debauchery, he removes all contacts with her. His last message was devastating, he simply stated that he wants to remove any connection with her since he has to focus on his business on the other side of the globe, the United States of America.

Betrayed. Thrown aside after the trouble soon catches up.

She hated herself that what comes to her mind first is that bastard. The bitterness of betrayal is still fresh in her mind to this day. How could he, when she gave him practically everything?

It is then she starts to recall someone else who might be able to help her current situation. But unlike her ex-boyfriend who leaves her on sudden notice, this person broke his ties with her with fury and a bang. It is none other than her father.

Left with him as the sole option. She starts calling him with no small amount of wishes and hopes.

「 Hello, may I know who’s calling? 」A horse sound of an old man says on the other side of the phone.

「 It’s me… dad. 」

「 Ughh…. 」The old man immediately replies, not even hiding his annoyance,「 what do you want, Karin? 」

Karin. That single word crushes her heart. It reminds her of their broken relationship. She remembers her dad used to always call her “Sweetie” or “Daughter”.

「 Y-your daughter would like to ask for money… Please..? 」She earnestly asks, hoping for a chance to mend broken ties.

「 Hmph! I don’t recall having a daughter! 」

「 Please dad, just transfer me a meager a million yen [footnote] (roughly 10k USD) to live by and I promise I won’t bother you again. 」

「 And you think that amount of money is cheap?! If you are truly my daughter then you will know that this father of yours has retired and lives a very humble life back in the Kyushu countryside. 」

「 I-I’m sorry… Please forgive me…  it would be great if you just… just spare any money you are willing to give… 」

「 Ungrateful whore! You are not my daughter! I, Tamaji Satoshi, no longer consider Tamaji Karin as his daughter and she no longer bears the Tamaji family name! 」

She starts to shake up. Goosebump is apparent on her. Even after these few years his dad still doesn’t consider her as his daughter. She thought maybe… just maybe with time, he will change his mind or at the very least starts to warm up to her again.

「 Give me a second chance dad… Please give me a second chance to redeem myself, dad. 」She earnestly begs with a whimpering noise.

「 Karin. You’re already an adult. Mature? Never was, but a full-fledged adult. I’ve warned you to be careful and be responsible by the time you’ve grown up. But you never listen. I’ve already given you many second chances when you’re younger.

「 Remember when you wanted to study abroad in Canada? 」He continues,「 I fully supported you. Remember the premium private English tutors that used to teach you and set up meetings with higher education consultation to know how to study in Canada? But then midway, you’ve changed your mind, wanting to study abroad to French — Paris specifically instead. That’s fine I thought. I will always support you. Instead of an English tutor, it changed to a French language tutor. But after a few weeks of studying french, you thought it’s too hard so you went back again wanting to study abroad in Canada and learning English. Even then when I thought you’ve finally decided to study there, after just a year of studying in Canada, you decided to go back to Japan just because living in Canada is harder than you thought. I’ve always given you second chances.

「 Now that you’re an adult, however, there are no more second chances. Especially one with others involved. You’ve brought shame to the family name Karin. I never expected you to be perfect, all I ever wanted from you is to be a decent woman…. and perhaps… a decent wife for a great man. 」

「 I know… I’m so sorry… But please just do this one more time. I will be responsible this time. 」

「 No, Karin. Farewell. I’ll be sure to change my phone number this time. 」

The call is immediately cut off once again.

Her futile attempt in mending broken ties, failed as expected. She doesn’t know what to feel anymore at this point. Defeat? Anger? Resentment? Shame?

None of these feelings matter anymore.

She lazily rises up from her bed, rummaging through her wardrobe that was once filled with exorbitant branded fashion items, now is only left with plain cheap clothing. She hopes to god, if it exists, that there is still at the very least a single branded fashion item so she can sell it online for some cash. It’s a hard thing to do at first, but hunger and the underlying threat of becoming homeless easily defeat the high value she attaches to luxurious fashion items.

It is then, when she rummages through the wardrobe’s drawer, amidst small random piles, she finds something she didn’t know she had this whole time — something she thought has been thrown away a long time ago. Her wedding ring.

Then it hits her. Even after all these years, she never thought about her past husband. It never crosses her to think about him. She wanted to hate him for leaving her alone but deep down she knows the reason for her husband’s suicide is due to her own fault — her affair.

Life wasn’t supposed to go this way, she thought.

Her mindset to life is one filled with relaxed fullness and a care-free attitude. Throughout her college and school experience, she never paid much attention to academia, for her as long as she passes and lives a fun life, going out with boys and her besties, everything is fine.

Graduating from a middle-rate college with middle-rate grades, however, changes everything. She couldn’t get decent jobs, and her rich father is close to retiring. Her luxurious and care-free lifestyle was in danger.

But thanks to her father’s connection, she’s able to continue her lifestyle by ending up marrying a very simple man on a fast-track in career trajectory in the biggest Japanese logistics company. A very respectable man with money behind him. Although he is a simple, and boring man. She honestly thinks he’s a bit cute at the very least, but what’s more important than that and the reason why she decided to marry him is how easy it is for him to accept her selfish demands.

A house of her wish in a very good neighborhood is easily bought by him, and the only thing she needs to give in return is just small gratitude and “love”.

Her husband also gives her a huge allowance for herself where she wastes it on girls-night-out and expensive luxury items she dreams of buying.

At that time she’s living the life that most people would dream of. Not the conglomerate, ultra-rich kind of course, but definitely better than most people. She can continue living a care-free life, leeching off from her husband.

But no, it’s never enough. She always wants more. Amidst her boring, yet very comfortable life, she desperately craves new excitement. She misses being the center of attention; where men flock to her like birds fighting over a delicious bread. She misses being showered with expansive gifts; where men compete with one another to spend time with her.

She began pondering whether marrying him is the biggest mistake she ever made in life.

A single high school reunion where she meets her past boyfriend who is much more attractive, charismatic than her husband was all it takes to have an affair with him. He promises her new excitements with exotic gifts, fancy vacation trips, and many more to win her over — to sleep with her.

It lasts for several months, until out of nowhere, she finds her husband… hanged.

She didn’t expect things to go down this way. At first, knowing that her husband committed suicide, a part of her is ecstatic. Her boring husband is now gone, leaving a fantastic house behind and a chance to make her relationship with her boyfriend official.

Sadly to her, her delusion was quickly diminished. The house was paid in mortgage or loans, not fully paid yet. With no money on her to repay the loan, the house becomes the bank property and she becomes homeless with no assets in her name. And from then on the downward spiral of the degradation of her life continues to this day.

And her boyfriend ran away from her. Not fulfilling his promises which she realizes now are just empty words.

Just for a small excitement, she throws away everything she ever had.

Now… The only thing she can do is wailing in deep regret. As it is the only thing she can feel that makes her alive. Cherishing the past that she used to have and cursing her past self for throwing it all away just for momentary excitement and pleasure; not knowing the extreme consequences that lie behind it.

「 That man was right… I’m… I’m just an ugly ass whore… 」Karin says out to the air, as she wears the ring again, recalling her boring, yet decent husband…